Friday, 14 December 2012

Don’t Be Afraid Of New Beginnings

It was the Roman philosopher, Seneca, who said “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Every day is a new beginning especially when things don't work out the way you hoped they would. One of my best friends has been out of work for nine months, like many other people in this country who have lost their jobs. The other day she was very excited because she was offered a job with an ad agency. But, she would be making a great deal less than she had in her last job where she had worked for ten years.  She wondered if she should try and negotiate a little more money and decided to go for it.

They told her to forget it and withdrew their offer to her.  Needless to say she was devastated and felt that she had blown it.  Apparently, I presume that they took it as her not appreciating the opportunity which I feel is narrow minded and they obviously failed to see the bigger picture.

Having an employee that is a go-getter, not afraid to negotiate a better deal and who feels that what they bring to the table has value is who I would want on my team. Instead of withdrawing the offer, they could've said this is the starting pay but there is room for advancement after you're reviewed in 3 or 6 months. But to be so uncompromising seems short-sighted. I'm not sure I would want to work for them!

Now, I'm telling you this story because many times when you feel like you screwed up or when things don't work out the way you want it's really a new beginning and it simply wasn't meant to be. The reality is that something better will come along. But if you look at the door that was closed and beat yourself up, where will that get you? Probably more depressed and stuck in the past.

The other reality is that when you really think about it would you want to work for a company that was so rigid and close minded? If they handled that situation with such an offensive and hard lined attitude what would the day in day out job be like? So even though it doesn't feel like it, there is a silver lining in every situation.

It's the same thing with other events and relationships in your life. When they don't work out or when you blame yourself for whatever happened it's a waste of time. And ultimately, things always work out in the end. And if you look a little deeper you will probably find that there were things you ignored that weren't so perfect.

Each day is a new beginning to start over, to do it differently, to pick up the pieces and move on to the next chapter in your life and to put the past in its place, which is in the past. Don't carry guilt, regret and blame with you into today or into your future. What good does it do you? How does it benefit you? Does it make you a better person?

Our lives will have disappointments, failures and adversities along the journey but they are coupled with triumphs, successes and good fortune too. Each day is a new beginning to travel the road ahead of you with the right attitude. Remember, it's not what happens to us in life that matters the most, it’s how we CHOOSE to perceive what happens to us that matters more!

Choose to look at each day as a new beginning to look at all the good in your life. A new beginning to live with an attitude of gratitude and to be thankful for your many gifts. Or, you can choose to mope around, feel sorry for yourself and live in the past. Which road do you want to travel?  The choice is yours!

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Here's Some Inspiration For You ...

If you’re ever thinking of giving up on your goals, read this …

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Living the Dream: Bring Life to Your Goals

Where do you keep your goals? Are they under your mattress? Do you secretly look at them when no one is watching? Or do you let them fly like a bird that comes in and out freely when the window is open? Do your goals and dreams have room to breathe?

Let's say that you want to go to Italy. You have never been to Italy, or Europe, for that matter, but you really want to go.

Have you told anyone about your desire to go to Italy? Have you done anything about it?

What makes a goal come to fruition is your breathing life into it. Here are a few ideas to turn your goals into reality:
  • Do something every day to move toward living your goals. If you want a new car, going to the dealership and bringing home a glossy brochure that you can look at every day would be an example. Take action!
  • Share your goals with someone. Brainstorm how you can make yours come true. Invite someone to hold your goals with you to remind you what you want. Discuss strategies for accomplishing your goals.
  • Find a role model. Select someone who has what you want, or is able to do what you want to do. Deliberately emulate that person.
  • Think about your goal every day. Organize your self-talk to consider the achievement of your goal positively. Energize this with your mind, mental images, and the words you tell yourself. Live the achievement of your dream consciously every day.
  • Give yourself time. If you are highly ambitious and willing to focus singularly on your goals, more power to you. You may be able to travel at the speed of light. In addition, give yourself time for certain big dreams and goals to come to life. Know that by taking consistent action, you can close the distance between your current reality and living your dreams. Allow them to come to fruition over time.
Others are living their dreams. Why not you?

Author: Rosie Bank

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Don’t Be Ruled By Your Past Mistakes

Perhaps one of the biggest stumbling blocks to becoming successful
is past regrets. Too many times we become so obsessed with all of
the times in the past when we were unable to achieve our goals that
we believe we are doomed to fail at anything we do.

What actually happens is that we "program" ourselves to fail. We
are still living in the past, unable to break away from the "failure
chain" that links us to our past selves. So we doom ourselves to
repeating the same old mistakes over and over again.

In order to do things differently, we must learn to be different.
Our thoughts, actions and attitudes must all be different than they
were in the past. And one big way to be different is in the way we
perceive our mistakes.

There is no room in the life of a successful person for regret.
Regret is a waste. It does nothing to enhance who you are, and, in
reality, all it does is feed on you. Regret will bleed you dry
emotionally, physically and spiritually.

If you want to be free to achieve your dreams and goals and
live your life to its fullest potential, you must not allow regret
to keep you chained to the past in a prison of "should haves" and
"could haves".

One of the best ways to loosen the power that regret has on you
is to accept your past mistakes. Allow yourself to be human and
realize that, as a human, you will make mistakes, and that's okay,
because that is how you learn.

But now, let's take it one step further. Not only should you
accept your past mistakes - you should embrace them. That's
right, be grateful that you are aware of your mistakes.

Why in the world should you do that? Because if you are aware
that you have made a mistake, then you are also aware that you need
to do something different next time around to be successful.

To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So you
can look at what you did in the past to achieve the wrong results -
and use that as your blueprint for what you need to do to achieve
the right results.

So when those past mistakes come to mind, don't get stuck in regret
and allow yourself to follow the same path that caused the mistakes
in the first place. Instead, embrace those mistakes and use them as
a valuable learning tool - the roadmap to success that they actually

Author: Ken Harness

Monday, 20 August 2012

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Seven Keys to Happiness

This article summarizes much of what I've learned thus far on my journey to self-discovery and positive growth. Along the way, through many of life's ups and downs, with the help of many awesome teachers and mentors, I now most often live in a state of happiness and contentment. I still have lots to learn but I wanted to share with you what I've found most helpful thus far. I truly believe that all people have the capacity to choose their mental attitude. Therefore, if happiness is what you desire, then you must choose it. Here are some helpful ideas to help you do just that.

1. Self-Worth

Self-worth - without it, happiness will always be just beyond your grasp. Self-worth is, of course, something that can be measured along a continuum. It isn't like you either have it or you don't. You can possess varying degrees and those degrees can themselves vary depending on the circumstances of your life.

Generally, the person who is happiest has a healthy amount of self-worth without an inflated view of their own self-importance. This is the fine line that must be walked between confidence and arrogance.

Confidence implies a certain sense of surety while recognizing that each of us is just a different cog in a very big wheel. No one person is any more important than anyone else. Those with high self-worth know their life's purpose. They are in tune with what their mission is and proceed to make it their life's work. They also recognize the value of everyone else with whom they share space.

Those who are arrogant recognize their own self-worth but then proceed to look down upon those they deem as unworthy. Then at the other end of the continuum, there are those who recognize the importance of others but don't believe they are worthy to breathe air.
A healthy balance of self-worth is the key.

2. Gratitude

The second key to happiness is gratitude. It is human nature to enumerate the things that are NOT the way we want them to be. We are programmed to notice when things are off, and not necessarily appreciate when all is as we want it. This makes maintaining an attitude of gratitude a challenge but nonetheless something we should strive for. I have mentioned before that Universal Law tells us that we attract those things we think about most often. When we are grateful for what we have, more is bestowed upon us.

I know someone who believes, "No good deed goes unpunished" and lives his life accordingly. Another person I know always says, "I have the worst luck. Nothing good ever happens to me." And you know what? They are right! The Universe delivers to them exactly what they expect. There are others who have similar bad luck but who persevere or find the lesson in the situation. These people find more happiness and contentment in return.

Another point about gratitude is to be thankful for what you have. I love the line in the song that says, "It's not having what you want; it's about wanting what you got!" There's nothing wrong with wanting to do better than you are as long as you are grateful along the way. Even when things are bad, there is always good to be found in it. Life is in perfect balance and order. Anything with a great deal of pain associated with it also has a tremendous positive side if we are of the mind to see it.

3. Positive Life Framing

The third key to happiness is positive life framing. There are three ways to view any piece of information-positively, negatively or neutrally. Viewing information as neutral is the best way to go through life. It allows us to accept everything as it comes and to stop resisting what actually is in any given moment. However, many of us have great difficulty with that one.

As an incremental step, it is helpful to find a way to reframe life's negative events into positive ones. Even in life's tragedies, there is a way to find something positive about the situation. Almost always, in hindsight, we can see the benefit. The real benefit comes when we are able to see the benefit as the tragedy unfolds, or at least stay open to the thought that there is a benefit even if you are unable to see it in that moment. Just as in physics where there can be no neutron without a proton, so it is with life where there can be no negative event without a corresponding positive one.

4. Internal Locus of Control

The fourth key to happiness is possessing an internal locus of control. People who have an internal locus of control believe that they are responsible for their own behavior and its results based on their own personal decisions and efforts. This is contrasted with those who have an external locus of control. These individuals believe that their behavior is determined by external circumstances such as other people, fate, luck or circumstances beyond their control.

Having an internal locus of control produces a "can do" attitude. An external locus of control generally results in a helpless attitude. Even though people with an internal locus of control still have situations that occur that are beyond their control, they will seek some action that can be taken by them to improve the situation. They do not spend time bemoaning the fact that something bad happened to them. They look for decisive action opportunities to turn things around.

In this way, a person is more in charge of their own destiny. They can reject the role of victim and take definitive action to create greater life satisfaction.

5. Lifelong Learning

The fifth key to happiness is to adopt an attitude of lifelong learning. Your goal each day should be to learn something new. As you encounter new people and situations, look for the wisdom that can be extracted from them. Particularly in areas where we believe we made a "mistake", seek to uncover the lesson. There is always a lesson to be learned.

When we believe we know all there is to know, that is when we are in dangerous territory. When we think we know all, then we stop learning from the people and situations in our path. When we stop looking for the lessons, we begin to blame things external to ourselves for the pain we experience instead of seeking to learn whatever we need to know for our life's journey.

6. Love

Love is the sixth key to happiness. I am not talking about having a significant other in your life who loves you. I'm talking about having love inside of you that is just bursting out of you to touch others. Unconditional love is a concept we all strive for-unfortunately, most of us are looking to receive it rather than give it. You are truly fortunate and blessed when you have the unconditional love of someone-whether it's your life partner, your mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, foster parent, friend or puppy!

Truly unconditional love is rare and a gift to be cherished. However, ask yourself the question, how many times have you extended unconditional love? Do you have unconditional love for your fellow human beings? This is the kind of love that will lead to happiness. It doesn't matter if that special someone doesn't love you back, it's what's in YOUR heart that matters. Are you someone who only loves as much as you feel you are being loved in returned? That certainly isn't unconditional! If you are seeking love in your life, then you must be loving in order to attract the love you seek. This will lead to the ultimate happiness-loving, expecting nothing in return. Try it.

7. Contribution

The last key to happiness is contribution. This is a combination of knowing and following one's life purpose. When people understand their divine purpose in this life and then go about fulfilling that purpose, they are making an awesome contribution to the good of mankind. Having meaningful work and leaving a legacy is an important key to happiness. When we do the work we were meant to do, we touch lives. It doesn't matter whether one's purpose is to clean the public restrooms or to find the cure for AIDS, following your divine purpose will bring about a strong life fulfillment that cannot be experienced any other way. Contribution is critical to happiness.

Implementing these seven keys to happiness in one's life is not an easy task. Personal coaching can be helpful as you are attempting to change some old, harmful habits into more productive, happiness-inducing ones. Jack Canfield says, "Of all the things successful people do to accelerate their trip down the path to success, participating in some kind of coaching program is at the top of the list. A coach will help you clarify your vision and goals, support you through your fears, keep you focused, confront your unconscious behaviors and old patterns, expect you to do your best, help you live by your values, show you how to earn more while working less, and keep you focused on your core genius." Why not give it a try?

Author: Kim Olver